Level Up (10 minute read)
Welcome to issue #19!
Report from the field: I started a new round of pitches this week, all over zoom still. I haven't asked anyone yet because I don't want to derail my pitch before it even starts but I have to imagine all of these people are zoom fatigued AF. This is the 4th round of pitching I've done but they must have heard 250 by this point.
I'm keeping it very short, 15-18 minutes max, and leaving as much as I can for the Q&A part afterward to make it feel as much like a discussion as possible. At this point I don't rehearse nearly as much because I have all of my notes handy on HUGE BULLET POINTS IN ALL CAPS AND BOLD surrounding me. The creators of HACKS were on the latest Writer's Panel podcast and two out of three of them just read their pitch. Obviously worked for them! Do what works for you and don't be afraid to change it up.
Oh, hey -- I also finished that new feature spec, so yay me!
LEVEL UP
So you’ve got this fire burning inside to create something of your own but you don’t have an outlet. You know you’re capable of something great, you just don’t know exactly what it is, or how to get started. Maybe you don’t even know your medium yet.
I was in this space for the better part of my twenties. I have dozens of old journals filled with pages of me agonizing over what I should focus on. Should I quit trying to be a writer and just go back to acting? Should I stop acting and learn to be a better director? I got stuck, all the time.
Even though I’m much better now I still find myself constantly doing battle with two of art’s greatest enemies: fear and inertia.
Fear is a powerful adversary for anyone looking to branch out and try something new creatively and it takes many forms. Fear of embarrassment or public humiliation. Fear of failure. I’ve talked to so many writers who suffer from “impostor syndrome,” myself included.
I’ve experienced some version of this scenario countless times over the past twenty-eight years: I’ll get an idea that comes with a lightning bolt of of excitement about it. It will be the greatest thing I’ve ever dreamed up. But, as soon as the spark dies down a bit fear will set in and try to derail me. “You’re not a good enough writer to tackle this yet.” “This is way too hard.” “There’s no audience for this.”
It happened every week for the first ten weeks with this newsletter. Right after I hit “publish” I would immediately feel self-conscious. Writing this made me more insecure than any other piece of writing that I’ve handed over for judgement this year because it’s personal.
My internal monologue would go something like this: “Who do you think you are? You’re not Aaron Sorkin. Who gives a shit?”
It made me really uncomfortable which is exactly why I kept doing it. I realized that this fear meant I was going out of my comfort zone and that’s where growth happens.
So I kept going.
I spent time reflecting on my old process and trying new stuff so that I’d have something to write about. Some of those exercises led to new ideas or new ways of thinking about old ideas. Some of which led to the show I’ve been pitching this week. Had I not kept going who knows if I would have connected the dots I needed to get it ready for the market.
A few months ago a friend of mine and I were sharing stories about pitching to people that we’ve idolized for years. I told him about the brief period of time I was working on adapting a short story by George R.R. Martin and the producer and I went WITH GEORGE to pitch the idea to Robert Downey Jr.’s company. It sounded like Robert himself might even sit in on the pitch, so that morning I was more nervous than I’d ever been to that point.
I put “My Shot” from Hamilton on repeat and cranked it up the whole drive there and it was kind of helping psych me up but not really. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t belong in this room I was heading into.
Then we got there and I found myself standing in the lobby talking to RDJ, GRRM, and my producer, and something in my brain said, “Whether you think you belong here or not is irrelevant. You’re here now, so LEVEL UP.”
And I did.
That became my mantra for every high stakes meeting after that. Whenever I’m dealing with impostor syndrome or battling nerves before a pitch I recognize that fear as an opportunity for growth. I stop looking at it from a place of fear and insecurity and instead look at it as an opportunity to expand to my full potential. It's a game, the object of which is to be the best, smartest version of myself.
“Level up.”
More often than not it works.
(*RDJ did NOT sit in on the pitch, mercifully, but I still had to pitch this adaptation of Mr. Martin’s short story sitting next to the man himself, which was out. of. body. awesome. Sadly the project never happened but I'll never forget that morning.)
Another major barrier is inertia.
Every time I start a new spec it’s like I’m standing at the bottom of Mount Everest and wondering how the hell I’m ever going to get to the top. My brain says, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to lay down on the couch and rewatch the Sopranos, instead? Do you even remember how to do this?”
I call it inertia and not laziness because I know so many people who want to get into (or back into) doing something creative and are just struggling to get started. They’re not lazy. They have full-time jobs and families. They barely have enough time to sit down and catch their breath or get a full night’s sleep, let alone write a hundred and twenty page movie. Their barrier isn’t laziness, it’s just finding a way to get started. To gain some momentum.
It’s the same for me. I can be lazy about certain things. It takes me months to schedule doctor’s appointments. I’ve run into trouble multiple times with the DMV because I put things off that I just don’t want to do. I LOVE to write and I may be super excited about a new idea but still find myself battling the forces of inertia because it's a monumental task.
To overcome inertia you have to apply a force.
Tiny actions over time build up a lot of force.
When I find myself in this position I start doing whatever it takes to get some traction. One action, even one small thing a day, is an investment of energy into getting that thing going. For me it can be as simple as putting up a post-it note with the name of the idea in a place where I can see it every day. I’ll pass by it and go, “I see you. I can’t deal with you right now but I see you.” Sometimes it’s as small as creating the file and putting it on my desktop, planting a flag that says, “Do not ignore me.”
I find that if I give my ideas creative energy, even if it’s just thinking about it and taking small actions, before I know it I’m already at the first switchback on the way up the mountain.
What’s that saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”
Yoda of the Week
I talked about the musical SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE and the painting it's based on in the very first newsletter. That musical and the painting itself have been constant companions and sources of inspiration since I was a teenager. One of the great joys of getting older is revisiting those works of art and seeing them from new perspectives.
Well now I have an entirely new first-hand account of the creation of the musical from the writer and director, James Lapine. It's a fascinating look into their partnership and has inspired me all over again. I highly recommend it for any theater fan, writer, or aspiring artist.
Remember that newsletter where I talked about writing monologues for characters to represent different songs in musicals? Check this out:
“I wish I had the gift to be a lyricist, but I don’t. Likewise a poet. But I do enjoy writing monologues for my characters. Getting inside their heads helped Steve know who they were, how they spoke, and what they were thinking about at a certain moment in time. Also, it helped him get to know me. These characters will undoubtedly reflect what’s on my mind and why I’m telling their story.”
Excerpt From: James Lapine. “Putting It Together.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/putting-it-together/id1512784625
He would write monologues that informed and inspired the songs.
Here's another great quote:
“If Sondheim and I have a fault in our writing—and I am not saying we have only one fault—it’s that we have too many ideas. Too many things we want to say. We often have had to remind ourselves why we’re writing our show. What is the one central idea that drives the project? I usually write a sentence or two to remind myself what I want a play or musical to speak to thematically and tape it to my desk. It brings focus to the writing.”
Excerpt From: James Lapine. “Putting It Together.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/putting-it-together/id1512784625
Putting It Together: How Stephen Sondheim and I Created "Sunday in the Park with George": Lapine, James: 9780374200091: Amazon.com: Books — www.amazon.com Putting It Together: How Stephen Sondheim and I Created Sunday in the Park with George [Lapine, James] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Putting It Together: How Stephen Sondheim and I Created Sunday in the Park with George